31 weeks, 1 day

Two months exactly until my due date - Sept 6.

I am nesting in my hospital room and have nothing else to clean. I would like to go home and nest there because I picture it being an absolute bachelor pad of a disaster with just Ian and the cats there. I also have a strong desire to be in the nursery right now with all of my baby shower gifts decorating it all pretty and prepping it for baby Zoe. BUT instead I'm a hour from home in the hospital sitting on my ass.

I am getting over this pretty quick. I'll be in the hospital 9 weeks on Wednesday and I am hitting this brick wall of frustration. I'm still optimistic but now I'm almost so optimistic that all I want to do is go the hell home! I want to have time at my house before baby Zoe comes out! I want to relax on my couch and in the comforts of my house. I want to lay my pregnant ass in a baby pool on my patio and lay out in the sun. I want to spend time with my cats before the baby takes over the house and their space. I want to go home like a normal pregnant person! I want to eat real food and not hospital food. I want to shower standing up. I want to be home and go into labor like everyone else. I want it quiet all the time. I don't want to listen to noises from other rooms connecting to mine. I don't want to stay in a bed anymore. I'm uncomfortable enough as it is just being pregnant - can't I just go home and be uncomfortable?

But then part of me says you are in the best place for Zoe. You have already been here 9 weeks almost and you only have 9 more to go. You are already halfway there! You can do it. It's not that bad. You can take Zoe outside after she's born. It will still be warm enough in September to sit outside and relax in a baby pool. The cats will eventually forgive you.

Ugh. It's just soooooooo frustrating.